One of the formulas for practice on the spiritual path, which came from the Hindu Bengali master, Swami Prajnanpad, and which was part of the teaching of the French master, Arnaud Desjardins, is “not what should be but what is.” A distinction can be made between emotion (which is a reaction) and feeling (which arises when ego is not in control). Suffering occurs through identification with emotions and the thoughts associated with them. Internal or external complaining is a way of holding on to the idea that “this should not be” or that “this should be,” which expends a huge amount of life energy. There is the illusion of living in my world rather than in the world. One of the ways of building being is awareness and relationship to the way things are. Regina is the editor of Hohm Press, a workshop leader, retreat guide, and author of The Woman Awake, Igniting the Inner Life, Praying Dangerously, Only God and other books.